Thoughts on Confidence

Okay people, lets talk confidence for a minute. When we really zoom in confidence is an emotion we get to feel when we think about ourselves in a certain way. So first I want to ask you, how are you thinking about yourself? Do you know? Are you paying attention to the thoughts that your brain feeds you as truth? Are those thoughts really true? Let's break it down. 

First, there's the shame side of the spectrum. This is where you're super critical of yourself and worried about every little thing you did or didn't do right. You're more focused on getting validation from others than giving it yourself. You tell yourself all the things you should be doing but aren't. That you'll never add up. Never be good enough, and on and on. You keep finding more and more evidence for why you're just not measuring up so all of this feels very real and true to you.

On the other side of things there's pride. If you fall on this end you believe that people are ranked based on the level of goodness they posses, the amount of money they have, how attractive or unattractive they are and on and on. You do things in order to keep your value fixed. You feel that in some way your accomplishments/qualities make you better than the people around you. This is also not a good place to be because in order to stay on top you have to keep winning. You believe your value is earned.

The fact is that both of these ideas are LIES my friends. When we fall into shame or pride we are not showing up with confidence, instead we are just lying to ourselves and keeping ourselves from showing up as the best version of ourselves. The good news is that ALL of what I just told you goes on in our brains. As I said in the beginning, confidence is a feeling we get to feel when we CHOOSE to think of ourselves in a certain way. It also lies smack dab in the middle of shame and pride. When we are confident we know the truth! Which is that every single one of us is amazing and valuable regardless of literally anything else! There's nothing wrong with us, (as shame would say), and we also aren't any better or less than anyone else,(as pride would say). We are who we are and our value is fixed. It doesn't change. 

So take a look at how you're thinking about yourself. Where do you fall on the spectrum? What thoughts are holding you back? What can you chose to think on purpose to get yourself to confidence and owning who you are? I personally choose to love all of me even when it's hard. The good and the bad. I constantly need to remind myself that my value is set and does NOT change. When I choose to do this on purpose it's easier to show up as the person I was meant to be.