The Manual

I used to think about the relationships in my life very differently than I do now. I used to think that something had gone majorly wrong because the people in my life weren’t acting the way I thought they should be. I would ask questions in my head like “Why don’t my kids just listen the first time when I ask them to do something?? They SHOULD totally do that right??” Or “Why doesn’t my husband naturally buy me the perfect thoughtful gift that I always wanted for my birthday?” That’s what happens in all the movies right? Good husbands should totally do that! But you know what all that drama created for me? Disconnection. When we try to control the people in our lives instead of letting them just be themselves it creates tension and resentment and a whole lot of other negative emotions. Most of the time the person that we’re trying to change has no idea what our expectations even are. When we act this way it’s as if we have a manual for the people around us. A way that we believe they should act and be in order to be acceptable for us. The major problem is that people are going to do whatever the heck they want to! And the only real person you have control over is YOU! So how do you want to feel about your life? Did you know it’s entirely up to you to decide? 

I’ve found that it feels SO much better to allow my husband and children to simply behave the way husbands and children behave naturally. So when my kids don’t come running the first or second or tenth time I call them I can realize that they’re just kids being totally 100% normal! They’re really not supposed to just be weird robot kids that do whatever I ask whenever I ask it. And when my husband does his best to show me he cares in his own way I can just be SO grateful he’s mine! Instead of wondering if something has gone wrong. It truly is up to me!